Twilit's Guide to Annoying the Akatsuki!
by Twilitassassin13
Summary: I had to delete the first, I accidentely set this title to 'Felix You're Not Immortal', but I fixed it! Rated for swearing. A hundred ways to annoy Akatsuki! Don't flame! Hope you like it! Hints of yaoi.


Twilitassasin13's Words of Ultimate Wisdom and Smarticlness- GUIDE TO ANNOYING THE AKATSUKI!!!!!!

Disclaimer- Deidara say it! Deidara- Fine… Twilitassasin13 don't own Naruto or any band, place, song, video games, videos, movies, cartoons, comics, foods, or anime series mentioned here. Un. Wow that was long.

Twilitassasin13- Thank you, Deidara!

Call Deidara Dei-Dei, then when he tries to attack, run.

Hide behind Sasori, say Deidara's gone crazy and is trying to kill you, then cuddle Sasori. P.S. Call Sasori Sasi-kun!

Cry when Sasori pushes you away.

SasoDei, KisaIta, DeiTobi, KakuHida, etc., yaoi fics. Nuff said.

Give Hidan a cross disguised as a Jashin rosary.

Sprinkle Hidan with holy water.

Play poker and cheat. Best done when betting high with Kakuzu.

Dress the Akatsuki in dresses.

"YOU… LACK… HATRED!" How can three words be so annoying?

Tobi. On sugar.

Give Tobi Itachi's pills, and vice versa.

Uh, hello? Hair dye.

Glomp Pein. Repeatedly.

Try 13 while disguised as Konan.

Draw a highly insulting drawing of Kisame. (I did this once, it was an orange shark made of paper, named Kisamefish.)

15 with Itachi- Weasel or Sasori- Scorpion.

Repeatedly ask Deidara if he's a woman. Loudly. With all the Akatsuki around, in the middle of a fight, or while in a village.

Get Kisame, Itachi, Tobi, and Pein drunk, then play Superstar by ToyBox.

Tape number 18.

Steal the Akatsuki's iPods.

Post Akatsuki Dance Parties on the Web. Please note that the Akatsuki MUST be drunk.

Spread rumors.

Make Tobi and Pein watch 'Fun with Akatsuki Number 1', then keep repeating 'I… I possess only one thing. Just let me put my possession on… THESE are my possession.' 'Hmm… Those look somewhat familiar.'

Invite Naruto and Gaara over for a party. Tell them to bring their troops.

Chibi Akatsuki pics!!!

Stare at Sasori, hand him Suna the Scorpion, and croon, 'Oh, you're so cute!' *Also works with Deidara, but note he has Katsu the Bird.* -This is from my Akatsuki fic, Chibi chapter.-

Always scream 'OMJ (Oh My Jashin, my sister says it a lot) IT'S MADARA!' when Tobi enters the room. Run away screaming.

Do something to your hair that draws everyone's attention away from Itachi's hair.

Weed killer. Plus Zetsu. Chase him with it, or tell Tobi that Zetsu just _loves_ to be sprayed with weed killer. Hand him (Tobi) a bottle of weed killer.

GLOMPING!!

Tell Pein that Hidan tried to get you to do it with him.

Insult Jashin.

Insult the two artist's work!

Steal all the Akatsuki's hair and makeup stuff- or piercings- then blame it on, say, Tobi or Jashin. Or, better yet, Sasuke.

Make Shadow Clones, dress as the Akatsuki, then sing and dance to The Sailor Song by ToyBox. MAKE SURE TO TAPE IT. Or get the Paths of Pain drunk and play The Sailor SongJ

Film the Akatsuki doing embarrassing things. Instant blackmail!

Play the aforementioned videos at the movie night.

Better yet, put 36 on YouTube.

Three Days Grace, baby. Three Days Grace.

Linkin Park! (I recommend playing Papercut near Konan, and Points of Authority or Bleed it Out near Hidan. :P)

Repeatedly play 'Weasel Stomping Day' near Itachi.

Make Hidan watch _Twilight_. Then scream he's a vampire 'cause he's immortal, then run.

I tried this once. Sunbathe, then, when you put on sunscreen and your skin starts glittering, scream 'OMFG I'M A VAMP!… I'm thirsty! Who wants to be my first victim…? Tobi…?'

Try to bite Tobi.

If the Akatsuki have hangovers, start singing 'Caramelldansen Speedycake Remix", any ToyBox song, or maybe even their theme songs.

45, but with Three Days Grace blasting loud enough you have a headache.

Draw the Akatsuki as Pokemon. Or maybe as women. For Konan, as a man.

Occasionally splash water on Konan and scream, 'WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU MELTING!?'

Imitate Hidan swearing.

Imitate Deidara by saying, 'Un', 'hmm' or 'yeah'. After every sentence.

Sneak into an Akatsuki's bed when the alarm clock's about to go off. Freaks 'em out. Especially Konan or Sasori.

Dude Looks Like a Lady. Sing it near Itachi, Deidara, Kein, etc.

Call Dein a chibi.

Infuriate Sein, lead him into, probably, Tobi's room.

Call them emo. Especially Itachi, Pein.

Call Hidan and the Pein's masochists.

Tell the fangirls the Akatsuki's address.

Ask Deidara if Tobi, Itachi, or Sasori- your choice- got him pregnant yet.

Call Deidara a man-lady.

Teach Konan innuendos. Encourage her to use them around her fellow Akatsuki. Especially those who are suspected of being gay.

Tease Deidara about his speech impediment.

Cosplay as the Akatsuki, then run around screaming their catchphrases. Ex- 'You lack hatred', 'I hate to be kept waiting,' 'Art is a bang, un' 'Tobi is a good boy,' etc.

Prank calls. ^_^

Keep stealing Sasori's puppets.

Give Sasori's puppets to Tobi so he can play dolls. Make sure to give Tobi some clay!

Allow Tobi to wreak havoc with the Akatsuki's weaponry.

Sing 'Evilicious'. While dressed as any of them.

Use Konan to soak up the blood from Hidan's rituals.

Imitate Hidan when he's singing Jashin's praises. MAKE SURE TO STEAL HIS ROSARY FOR NO DAMN REASON.

Oh, make sure to take his scythe beforehand.

Take the Akatsuki to see a My Little Pony movie.

Call Kakuzu any nickname, from Mr. Krabs to Money Whore.

For his birthday, give Deidara tampons.

Eat sushi in front of Kisame.

Take Kisame to an aquarium. Release the fish and blame it on Kisame.

Laugh as Kisame is taken to prison/Sea World.

Glomp Itachi and scream in his ear, 'I can't wait to meet your parents!'

When Itachi readies his Mangekyo and tells you he murdered his parents and clan, say, 'Oh, so you're a murderer, I don't go out with murderers,' then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Use text-talk near the Akatsuki. It has more effect near the older Akatsuki (Hidan, Sasori, Kakuzu, Madara).

Use old-time speak near the younger Akatsuki- Tobi, Deidara, Itachi.

Run up to someone who gets annoyed, like Kisame, Sein, Hidan, etc., and chew Smart Food or anything else crunchy in their ear. Loudly.

You know 47? Go follow Konan around singing 'Dude Looks Like a Lady', but flip/change the lyrics so it's 'Lady Looks Like a Dude'.

Steal Itachi's iPod and put 'Weasel Stomping Day' on it.

Don't forget to put the iPod on max volume.

Give Itachi a pair of sunglasses and a cane for Christmas or his birthday.

Give Madara an 'Over the Hill' cane.

Buy/build Kisame an aquarium. Then try to stuff him in it.

Invite the Akatsuki's mortal enemies, family, teachers, and/or Jinchuriki to Thanksgiving dinner.

Turn all the Paths of Pain's against each other and take bets about who kills who.

Write love notes to the Akatsuki. Sign them to their partners, for example, 'To Hidan, Love Kakuzu.'

Crack Kakuzu's safe.

Pour a bit of Monster into the Akatsuki's coffee. But a lot in Deidara's or Tobi's coffee.

Steal the Akatsuki's clothes and force them to walk around in public like that- in the nude.

Randomly hit Hidan with raw steaks.

Threaten Sasori with termites.

Refuse to take Deidara to firework shows- especially the One Night Only shows.

Walk up to a gay pairing- works especially well with Itachi and Kisame or Hidan and Kakuzu and ask, 'How's the sex?'

Play MySims, meet Dr. F, and start screaming, 'THE F STANDS FOR- (ROBOTS, EXPLOSIVES, SCIENCE)!' in Madara's ear.

Take Sasori to a puppet show- but DON'T TELL HIM IT'S A LITTLE KID'S SHOW. ESPECIALLY IF IT'S THE TELETUBBIES.

Show them this list and tape their reactions.

I hope you enjoyed my first attempt at a fic! If asked to, I may do a reactions chapter! Please remember to review, but it's not required…


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